I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
