so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
