I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
