covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Randomize
