I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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