And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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