I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
is it fun? or sober?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
