So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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