he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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