Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
