Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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