i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
My ass is underappreciated
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
