I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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