My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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