Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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