I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
