I saw his package. It spoke to me.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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