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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day

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• (512): View more from Texas

  He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.

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• (619): View more from California

  Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.

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• (808): View more from Hawaii

  I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.

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• (707): View more from California

  Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.

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