you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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