what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
