You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
