Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
