Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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