no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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