Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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