Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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