Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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