Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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