next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
We are all done wearing pants today
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
