wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
