About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
