and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
