Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
