somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
When did angry sex become our thing?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
