Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
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