Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I'm too high and old for this...
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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