i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
