the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
