Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
