Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Randomize