she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
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