imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
