I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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