it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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