Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Randomize
