spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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