I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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