I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
