He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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