Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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