It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
