the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
