Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
