quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize