so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize