"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Randomize
