but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
