Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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