i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
They took my balls.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
My day in three words: secret purse cake
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
