nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
