We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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